Monday, November 5, 2012

Chapter Four: In Which I am Amused

I have a confession to make.  

Before this weekend, I had never…*sob*… been to an Amusement Park. 

I know.  I’m so ashamed.  I have, however, ridden the Dragon Wagon at the county fair.  That’s gotta count for something, right?

I found out that the youth group was going to Lagoon, an amusement park near Salt Lake City, the first weekend after I started work.  And I thought, hmm, what better way to bond then through mutually shared terror and fear? 

I was so right.


I told all the kids that I was an Amusement Park virgin, and that they would have to break me in gently.  This immediately led to such conversations as this:

Ellie: “Yeah, I have this system where I do things in levels, working my way up.  So I want to start at Level 1 of Amusement Parks and go from there.”

Jacob: “You should go on Wicked first.  That’s a good one to start with.”  [Muffled giggles.]

Chani: “No, don’t be silly. [Pause.]  She should go on Colossus first.”  [More muffled giggles.]

Ellie: “…NO!  I HAVE A SYSTEM!”

Fortunately, one of the kids, Kelsey, took pity on me, and volunteered to be my guide into the wonderful world of Amusement Parks. 

We arrived at the park late Saturday morning, having faced a 3 hour drive to get there.  The sun was shining, everyone was talking excitedly, and I…I was smiling, because I was very excited, if slightly nervous, to face my first Amusement Park.  We set our stuff in a picnic shelter we had rented, and then…we were off!  To big thrills, tingly chills, and everything in between!

This was the first ride I went on:


Ha ha!  Just kidding.  That was the *Fifth* ride I went on!

No, but seriously, Kelsey took me on a ride called La Bombarda first.  It was basically a kiddie roller coaster that played Beach Boys music while you rode the track.  I sat in the car.  I pulled the lap bar down very securely.  I put my hands on the seat in front of me.  I took a deep breath, and…

WHOOSH!  Several turns, curves, and drops later, we were finished.  My first roller coaster ride ever.  And I…I wasn’t sure I liked it.  My stomach had definitely *not* liked it.  And I thought to myself, This might be a long day…”  

The next ride we went on, The Bat, had you sit in a suspended car with your feet dangling while you went through the track.  It, also, was somewhat of a kiddie roller coaster.  I sat in my seat, pulled the chest harness down securely, held on to the handles, and…WHOOSH!  The ride finished.  And I thought to myself, You know, that was kind of fun…

This time I didn't have to fake the smile on my face. 

We went on a couple more non-coaster rides, including a modified Dragon Wagon that went in a super-fast circle forward and backward, a Haunted House where you rode a cart through it, and the aforementioned Merry Go Round.  Then it was time for this:

The White Coaster was built in 1921, making it one of the oldest roller coasters.
This was it, my first legit roller coaster.  And it was wooden.  And the cars clanked.  And…IT WAS AWESOME!  When we finished riding it, my back felt like it had been cracked out of joint.  It was so bumpy.  But it was also fun, and as soon as we finished, we went back and rode it again. 

Still caught up in my adrenalin-junky high, when Kelsey suggested we go on Colossus next, my brain, full of endorphins, let my mouth reply, “Yeah!” before I even knew what was happening.  The endorphins died off a little once we started waiting in line.  At the White Coaster, there was no line, no time to think about what you were going to do.  You just hopped in the car and away you went.

There was a *lot* of time to think about what you were about to do on Colossus.  Time to watch car after car go through the entire ride.  Time to hear the frenzied screaming of the people riding it.  Time to contemplate just how high the two loops you went through were.  Time to feel the rush of air as a car zoomed past you in excess of 60 mph.  Time to hear Kelsey laugh nervously and say, “This is a big jump, are you sure you’re okay with this?” 

Thanks Kelsey.
You can see the people go upside down!  And then later, when they go past
the track that is right  in front of the camera, you can feel the giant blast of air they create because of how fast they are going!

And the line inched forward, and I kept a smile plastered on my face, because I wasn't going to let Erich, who loved to say things like, “Boy, this looks pretty rickety,” or, “Man, that track goes awfully high up,” see me sweat.  I was going to go on this thing if it killed me. 

I tried to avoid thinking of just how possible that was.

Eventually the line ended, as all lines must do, and before I knew it we were inching slowly up to the top of the track.  Hannah was sitting next to me, her first time on Colossus as well, and she was yammering a mile a minute as we inched forward, which was good, because it distracted me from the 100 foot drop and two loop-de-loops we were about to enjoy in scant seconds.  Clickity-clickity-clickity-clickity-clickity-click-AHHHHHHHHHH-WHOOSH-WHOOSH-

I cannot lie.  I kept my eyes closed for almost all of it.

But when I finished, I knew, I *KNEW*, why people keep going back on rides for more.  Because it’s freedom, it’s the edge, it’s letting go of your control to launch yourself forward, surrender yourself over to the twists and turns and ups and downs of a force beyond you, and feeling the exhilaration of going to the utter limits and back again. 

In short, roller coasters are a lot like life.

By the time the day was done I went on Colossus twice more, on Wicked three times.  (Wicked included a 150 foot boost straight up and then down, and was probably my favorite ride there.) 

When you crested the top, it looked like you were falling into thin air.
I went on the Spider, which halfway through the ride started the car spinning in circles, and went through my first Haunted House, which ended up being me leading about 7 of the kids through the dark, holding hands in a line, and successfully avoiding jumping or screaming at any point in time, even when someone jumped out from behind me because they blended in with the wall so perfectly.  To be fair, they probably weren't used to dealing with someone who grew up in a household where for quite a period of time the thing to do was stand directly up against the bathroom door to throw yourself at someone once they finished up their business and opened up said-door. 

I ain’t no rookie in the scaring business.

But man, it really was an awesome day.

HOORAY!

”It is in the compelling zest of high adventure and of victory, and in creative action, that man finds his supreme joys”"-Antoine De Saint-Exupery


If you want to watch videos of some of the coasters I went on, here you go: